A diddy about faith.

     I wrote a song about 12 or 13 years ago during a crisis of faith.  I now know that remaining inside a system of faith requires a suspension of reason--something I'm not cut out for.  As hard as it was to get out, getting back in is impossible...

               Can't Remember

The clock is ticking on that old gray wall.
I watch as one more slips away from me.
Come to think of it, it doesn't mean that much at all.
Time, it seems, is all that's left for me.

And I can't remember anything
of the life I lived before the thing
that took you away and left me empty here
whispered sweetly in my ear.

I watch as people go about their lives
chasing dreams I used to chase with them.
What's important isn't how or why,
only that I can't be part of them.

And my soul is free but longs to be,
like my body, tied up senselessly
in a world that tells me constantly
what I can and cannot be.

And I can't remember anything
of the life I lived before the thing
that took you away and left me empty here
whispered sweetly in my ear.

On Open Mindedness

I mentioned this quote from Nietzsche's "Twilight of the Idols" to someone the other day:

"A causal explanation is thus contingent on (and aroused by) a feeling of fear. The "why?" shall, if at all possible, result not in identifying the cause for its own sake, but in identifying a cause that is comforting, liberating, and relieving."

 My friend quipped dismissively "I heard Nietzsche was a winy atheist  weirdo!"  My reply went something like this....

     You are right.  Nietzsche would have pissed me off dreadfully if I had to deal with him on a daily basis.  But does that diminish the quote?  99% of what all philosophers say turns out to be wrong but when we read them we are not looking for a universal system of truth, we are getting to know this person.  Much like dealing with a friend or coworker, there will be facets of their personality that rub us the wrong way. But if we dismiss anyone at the first sign of discord, we will find ourselves friendless and miss out on all the good things that come from having an open mind.
     When I quote a particular author, I am telling you more about myself than about the original author.  The quote by Nietzsche tells you almost nothing about Nietzsche, but tells you a lot about my thoughts on psychology.  The fact that I quoted Nietzsche does not make me a "winy atheist weirdo." Reading the Communist Manifesto doesn't make me a Communist any more than reading Adam Smith makes me a capitalist.  Reading the Koran doesn't make me a Muslim any more than reading the Bible makes me a Christian.  But by reading these things, I am getting to know the authors, the ideas they represent, and the historical context in which those ideas evolved.  Understanding these diverse cultural backgrounds doesn't make me a part of them, but it does help me to understand the evolution of my own place in the world, not to mention the fact that it makes me more able to have a meaningful conversation with someone whose ideas differ from mine.
     When someone throws a passage from the Bible at you, are they letting you in on the mind of God?  Certainly not!  They are informing you about their mind.  The person who points to "thall shalt not" and the "such-and-such is an apostasy" is only pointing out their own fears.  The person who is constantly mentioning the "meek and humble" apparently feels unappreciated.  The quoter of Machiavelli or Nietzsche may very well be struggling to self-actualize.  (hmmmm...)
     It's funny that the original quote by Nietzsche that started this topic applies quite nicely.  The passages that we latch onto are chosen not because they are universal truths which have been revealed to us, but because they are "comforting, liberating, and relieving."
   

War LOL

I hear sounds in my head.  It sounds like things breaking.
Flesh and bone and teeth.
I hear sounds of people making war on each other
and killing themselves in the street.

I make war from my table.  I make war from  my car.
I make war on my neighbor.  I don't know who they are.
I make war with my cell phone.  I make war with my thumbs.
It spreads like a virus.  The killing will come when it comes.

When it comes.
When it comes.
When it comes.
Here it comes.

We blame presidents for wars and popes for religion.
They're born in the hearts of man.
Generals make fire rain down from the sky.
The fire was born in my hand.

We make war LOL.
We make war LOL.
We make war LOL.
Oh well.

Next semester schedule

Set up the spring of 2013 today.  I was lucky, got all the classes I wanted.  All my classes are on Tuesday and Thursday, so less driving.  But Loooong days!

7:45 AM     Comp II
9:10            Drawing
10:35          Literature and the Environment
2:30  PM    Brain and Mind
6:30 - 9:30  Hinduism and Buddhism (only on Tuesday)

Brain/Mind is co-taught by the philosophy guy and the psychology guy.  I'm super stoked about that class.  Also H and B should be fun.  Ooh Ooh!  and Drawing!  Don't know about the other two, we'll see.
I could have taken Descartes to Kant, but it's a Junior level.  I think I better get Comp II out of the way.

New wheels and do

     Got a new Chevy Sonic last week.  The turbo version rocks.  Also, been toting around all this hair way too long.  It wasn't getting any browner, and it wasn't getting any thicker, so away it went!  I catch myself running my hand around on the back of my head to feel the burr.  My hair hasn't been this short since I was 10.
     I've noticed I sit in the same part of the room  in all my classes.  This one girl who happens to sit right in front of me in Old Testament has Psych right after me;  I was late getting out of psych today, and she came in and, you guessed it, we used the same seat.  If I get very far in psych, I want to do a study of where people sit, to see if all people do that, and I wonder if it would correlate to other things like what color car we drive.  I'm gonna ask Beth tomorrow if she likes red cars.
     U of O is uber big on writing papers.  I average maybe 3 a week.  I'm glad though.  I can tell you all you ever wanted to know about APA, MLA, citing sources, etc. etc.  I know you couldn't tell it from this blog.  I started off trying to write it all neat and stuff, but I do so much of that at school, I think I'll just make this quick and messy.
     Really digging my classes.  But it's really awesome seeing all the different attitudes the other students are bringing.  Especially in Old Testament and Ethics.  There is some serious difference of opinion going on, and, with some at least, some real soul searching.  Gotta admit, I've looked at some issues I haven't looked at in a while.
     Yesterday I spilled coffee all in the seat of my new car and on my pants.  Went the whole day looking like I had shat myself.  Went to the Wednesday convo (chapel), and it was the best one ever.  This guy named Marquis Hunt played sax on about 4 songs, and preached.  He was a good preacher, but man he was smooth on the sax.  Best convo ever.  When I went to get my convo card stamped (I have to get 8 this semester, thus I go to chapel) , I didn't have it.  I left my wallet in the car because it had coffee all over it.  But the convo was worth it.
     Eleanor Clift from McLaughlin Group spoke Spoke Monday night at school.  She was really awesome.  She spoke about the upcoming election.  She was fair to both sides, but you could tell she leaned left.
     Gonna try to make a "Project Poet" some Tuesday night.  It's what everybody talks about, but it's at 9:30, and I live 40 minutes away.  There is also what they call "Last Lecture" series, where different professors give a speech as if it was the last one they would ever give.  Friday night at 7:30 is one I think I will go to.  Dr. Van Scoy?  not sure if that's the name.  something like that.

One Week Down!

I just finished up my homework for this week and am getting ready for bed.  Thought I'd give a little update.

I had signed up for Comp1, Oral Communication, Ethics, Old Testament, and Critical Inquiry.  This week I decided to drop CI and add Gen Psychology.  I think that will be a good move for me.  My idea is to shoot for a Psychology minor to go along with a philosophy major.  Should be cool.

My comp professor looks just like Vanilla Ice.  

I've written about 4 papers already.  Gonna have to bone up on the APA style of paper writing and figure out how to cite authors and a whole bunch of stuff that most folks learned in high school.  

I was a little nervous about how I would fit in with the youngsters.  Turns out, I am the only old guy in any of my classes.  But everything is going famously!  I wear my red converse shoes, and everybody thinks I'll all cool and stuff.  I think the teachers don't quite know what to do with me yet.  But it's all good.  

A Little Diddy

The moments between sleep and rising

always bring the finest wise-ing.

Before the brain is all there is

the mind is there philosophizing.

It hit me flashing as I oped

my eyes, not seeing as I'd hoped.

Fumble pen, write it down.

Just a line, no more is groped.

Tomorrows verse will be as clever,

but out of tune with this endeavor.

God, if you are somehow listening,

make me lucid on forever.